Finding my Voice(s)

I recently had someone tell me that they like to take smoke breaks during my act because they “hate that fucking voice I do.” I wasn’t super insulted, just confused. Because, well. I didn’t know which one they meant. For the rest of our conversation I tried to subtly adjust my tone, all the while wondering: […]

Bad People

“When you have kids- they’ll have to listen to you.” He said. “Because you’re a complete moral authority.” That moment resurfaced for me recently. I was 19, in my first ever relationship. And things were so, so different than they are now. There were a lot of things that gave me something of a superiority […]


There’s this kind of funny thing where in the world of performers, especially those with an interest in comedy, it’s common to talk and joke about our emotional quirks. It makes sense that a lot of us suffer from mental health issues, because as creatives we probably didn’t fit into certain pre-determined “rights” growing up; […]


A lot of people have been very kind to me over the last few months. And it freaked me right the fuck out. I don’t know what I did to deserve the sudden success and outpouring of support. I am late, lazy, self indulgent, disorganized, forgetful, I get details wrong, look at my phone too […]

Hey Stranger

Oh hi The Internet. I haven’t been updating much because I was lacking in time, privacy, and a personal computer. But here I am with all of those things! How exciting for you. I really do want to be someone who keeps up with my blog. If I can’t at the very least be that, […]

The Not So Cool Girl

I’d like to share some current events. But first, I need to express- or maybe the better word is confess- to something that’s been nagging at me. I am a recovering “Cool Girl.” The “cool girl” is similar to the “nice guy” in that it involves putting on airs to impress someone, then getting angry […]

Are you there, Internet?

Hey folks! Welcome to my website. I’m Melanie Dahling. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m kind of in an “everything and nothing” stage of my life- or at least it feels that way. I do a lot of things some of the time. I am a comedian, actor, writer, make-up artist, and […]